


"Doki Doki~"

by 28_stab_uwu, tanni_yuuki



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Inspired by Doki Doki Literature Club!, Long-Haired Victor Nikiforov, M/M, Viktor spelt with a k., Young Katsuki Yuuri, Young Victor Nikiforov
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-22 20:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17066534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/28_stab_uwu/pseuds/28_stab_uwu, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tanni_yuuki/pseuds/tanni_yuuki
Summary: Yuuri is invited by his childhood friend, Yuuko, to join their high school's literature club. Yuuri then meets the other members of the club: Yurio, Chris, and the club president Viktor. Yuuri starts to participate in the club's activities such as writing and sharing poetry, and grows close to the four members.





	1. "The Day I Sold My Soul For A Cupcake"

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! This is my first ever fanfiction! Please give some supportive feedback :) if there's anything wrong with this story please let me know!

> Ch: 1 "The Day I Sold My Soul For A Cupcake"

"Heeeeeeeyyy!!" 

I see a girl running towards me from the distance, waving her arms in the air like she's totally oblivious to any attention she might draw herself.

That girl is Yuuko, my good friend since we were children.

You know, the kind of friend you'd never see yourself making today, but it just kind of works out because you've known each other for so long?

We used to walk to school together on days like this, but starting around high school she would oversleep more and more frequently, and I would get tired of waiting up.

But if she's going to chase after me like this, I almost feel better off running away.

However, I just sigh and idle in front of the crosswalk and let Yuuko catch up to me.

"Haaahhh.... Haaahhh..." Yuuko says "I overslept again! But I caught you this time!"

"Maybe, but only because I decided to stop and wait for you." I say.

"Eeehhhhh, you say that like you were thinking about ignoring me!" Yuuko says. "that's mean, Yuuri!"

"Well, if people stare at you for acting weird then I don't want them to think we're a couple or something." I say.

"Fine, fine. But you did wait for me after all." Yuuko says. "I guess you don't have it in you to be mean even if you want to~"

"Whatever you say, Yuuko..." I say.

"Ehehe~" 

We cross the street together and made our way to school.

As we draw near, the streets become increasingly speckled with other students making their daily commute.

"By the way, Yuuri.." Yuuko says. "Have you decided on a club to join yet?"

"A club?"

"I told you already, i'm really not interested in joining any clubs.." I say. "I haven't been looking, either."

"Eh? That's not true!" Yuuko says, "You told me you would join a club this year!"

"Did I....?" 

I'm sure it's possible that I did, in one of our many conversations where I dismissively go along with whatever she's going on about.

Yuuko likes to worry a little too much about me, when i'm perfectly content just getting by on the average while spending my free time on games and skating.

"Uh-huh!" Yuuko says. "I was talking about how i'm worried that you won't learn how to socialize or have any skills before college."

"Your happiness is really important to me, you know!" Yuuko says, "You trust me, right? Don't make me keep worrying about you..."

"Alright, alright.." I say, "I'll look at a few clubs if it makes you happy. No promises, though."

"Will you at least promise me you'll try a little?" Yuuko says.

"Yeah, I guess i'll promise you that.." I say.

"Yaay~!"

Why do I let myself get lectured by such a carefree girl? More than that, i'm surprised I even let myself relent to her..

I guess seeing her worry so much about me makes me want to ease her mind at least a little bit----even if she does exaggerate everything inside of her head.

_______

The school day is as ordinary as ever, and it's over before I know it.  
After I pack up my things, I stare blankly at the wall, looking for an ounce of motivation.

"Clubs...."

Yuuko wants me to check out some clubs. I guess I have no choice but to start with the skating club...

"Yuuko...?"

Yuuko must have come into the classroom while I was spacing out.  
I look around and realize that i'm the only one left in the classroom.

"I thought I'd catch you coming out of the classroom, but I saw you just sitting here and spacing out, so I came in." Yuuko explains, "Honestly, you're even worse than me sometimes... I'm impressed!"

"You don't need to wait up for me of it's going to make you late to your own club.." I say.

"Well, I thought you might need some encouragment, so I thought, you know..." Yuuko says.

"Know what?"

"Well, that you could come to my club!" Yuuko says.

"...There is no way i'm going to your club." I say.

"Eeeehhhhh?! Meanie!" Yuuko exclaims.

Yuuko is vice president of the Literature Club. Not that I was aware that she had any interest in Literature. 

In fact, I'm 99% sure she only did it because she thought that it would be fun to help start a new club. Since she was the first one to show interest after the one who proposed the club, she inherited the title "Vice President".

That said, my interest in literature is guaranteed to be even less.

"Yeah. I'm going to the skating club." I say.

"C'mon, please?" She begs.

"Why do you care so much, anyway?" 

"Well.... I kind of told the club yesterday I would bring in a new member..." Yuuko said, "And... Yurio made cupcakes and everything..."

"Ehehe..."

"Don't make promises you can't keep!" I say.

I can't tell if Yuuko is really that much of an airhead, or if she's so cunning as to have planned all of this out.

I let out a long sigh.

"Fine... I'll stop by for a cupcake, okay?"

"Yes! Let's go~!" Yuuko says.

And thus, today marks the day I sold my soul for a cupcake.


	2. "Welcome To The Literature Club!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri arrives to the Literature Club and meets everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

> Ch: 2 "Welcome To The Literature Club!"

I follow Yuuko across the school and upstairs---a section of the school I rarely visit, being generally used for third-year classes and activities.

Yuuko, full of energy, swings open the classroom door.

"Everyone! The new member is here~!" Yuuko says.

"I told you, don't call me a 'new member----'" I say.

Eh? I glance around the room.

"Welcome to the Literature Club, It's a pleasure meeting you." A male said. "Yuuko always says nice things about you, about how you have a nice a---"

"Seriously. You brought a pig? Way to kill the atmosphere." A boy said.

"Ah, Yuuri! What a nice surprise!" A male with long, silver hair said. "Welcome to the club!" 

Wait. Is that Viktor Nikiforov? Why would he be in the Literature Club?!

"...."

All the words escape me in this situation.

This club...

....Is full of incredibly cute boys!!

"What are you looking at?" The boy said. "If you want to say something, say it."

"S-Sorry..." I say quietly.

"Yurio..." the male said. 

"THAT ISN'T MY NAME!!" the boy shouted.

The boy with the sour attitude, whose name is apparently 'Yurio', is one I don't recognise.

His small figure makes me think he's probably a first-year.

He's also the one who made the cupcakes, according to Yuuko.

"You can just ignore him when he gets moody~" Yuuko says quietly in my ear, then turns back towards the other boys.

"Anyway! This is Yurio, Always full of energy." Yuuko introduced, "And this is Chris! The... Uh... Smartest in the club!" 

"Oh Yuuko, don't say things like that~" Chris says.

Chris, who seems very... Um, mature, seems to have a 'hard time' keeping up with people like Yuuko and Yurio. (A/N: not really ;) ....)

"Ah... Well, it's nice to meet both of you." I say.

"And it sounds like you already know Viktor, is that right?" Yuuko says.

"Uhm, yeah, of course." I say.

"That's right." Viktor says. "It's great to see you again, Yuuri."

Viktor smiles sweetly.

We do know each other----Well, we rarely talked but, I see him on TV all the time, and we were in the same class last year.

Viktor is probably the most popular person in the world----smart, handsome, atheletic.

Basically, completely out of my league.

So having him smile at me so genuinely feels a little...

"Y-You too, Viktor..." I say as I blush.

"Come sit down, Yuuri! We made room for you at the table, so you can sit next to me or Viktor." Yuuko says. "I'll get the cupcakes~"

"Oi! I made them, I'll get them!" Yurio shouts.

"Sorry, I got a little too excited~"

"Then, how about I make some tea as well?" Chris suggests.

\-----------

We have a few desks arranged to form a table. As Yuuko mentioned, it's been widened so that there is one space next to Viktor and one space next to Yuuko.

Yurio and Chris walk over the corner of the room, where Yurio grabs a wrapped tray and Chris opens the closet.

Still feeling awkward, I take a seat next to Yuuko.

Yurio proudly marches back to the table, tray in hand.

"Okaaay, are you ready?" Yurio says. "...Ta-daa!"

"Woah!" 

Yurio lifts the foil off the tray to reveal a dozen white, fluffy cupcakes decorated to look like little cats.

The whiskers were drawn with icing, and little pieces of chocolate were used to make ears.

"So cuuuute~!" Yuuko says.

"Yura! I had no idea you were so good at baking." Viktor says in shock.

"Ehehe. Well, you know." Yurio says proudly. "Just hurry and take one!"

Yuuko grabs one first, then Viktor. I follow.

"It's delicious!" Yuuko talks with her mouth full and has already managed to get icing on her face.

I turn the cupcake around in my fingers, looking for the best angle to take a bite.

Yurio is quiet.

I can't help but notice him sneaking glances at my direction.

Is he waiting for me to take a bite?

"Just eat it, Pig!"

I finally bite down.

The icing is sweet and full of flavor----I wonder if he made it himself.

"This is really good." I say. "Thank you, Yurio."

"Wait, why are you thanking me?! It's not like I....!"

Haven't I heard this somewhere before...?

"....Made them for you or anything.."

"Eh? I thought you technically did. Yuuko said---"

"Well, maybe! But not for, y-you know, you! Loser..." Yurio says.

"Alright, alright.." I say.

I give up on Yurio's weird logic and dismiss the conversation.

Chris returns to the table, carrying a tea set.

He carefully places a teacup in front of each of us before setting down the teapog next to the cupcake tray.

"You keep a whole tea set in this classroom?" I say.

"Oh, don't worry, the teachers gave us permission." He says. "After all, doesn't a 'Hawt' cup of tea help you enjoy a good book?" 

"Ah... I-I guess..." I say.

"Ehehe, don't let yourself get intimidated, Chris is just trying to impress you." Viktor informs.

"Oh, Viktor, you know that's not true~" Chris says.

Insulted, Chris looks away.

"I believe you, Chris." I say, "Well, tea and reading might not be a past time for me, but I at least enjoy tea."

"I'm glad~" Chris says.

Chris faintly smiles to himself in relief.

Viktor raises an eyebrow, then smiles at me.

"So, what made you consider the Literature Club? Viktor asks.

"Um..."

I was afraid of this question.

Something tells me I shouldn't tell Viktor that I was practically dragged here by Yuuko.

"Well, I haven't joined any clubs yet, and Yuuko seemed really happy here, so..." I say.

"That's okay! Don't be embarrassed!" Viktor says, "We'll make sure you feel right at home, okay?"

"As president of the Literature Club, it's my duty to make the club fun and exciting for everyone!" Viktor says.

"Viktor, i'm surprised." I say, "How come you decided to start your own club?"

"You could probably be a board member of any of the major clubs." I say, "Weren't you the leader of the Skating Club last year?"

"Ahaha, well, you know..." Viktor says. "To be honest, I can't stand those clubs!"

"I'd much rather take something I like other than skating and make something special out of it," Viktor says, "I mean, I skate everyday! I want to make something new."

"And if it encourages others to get into literature, then i'm fufilling that dream!" Viktor says.

"Viktor really is a great leader!" Yuuko says.

"Mhm" Chris nods in agreement.

"Then I'm surprised there aren't more people in the club yet." I say, "It must be hard to start a new club."

"You could put it that way." Viktor says. "Not many people are very interested in putting out all the effort to start something brand new..." 

"Especially when it's something that doesn't grab your attention, like literature." Viktor says, "You have to convince people that you're both fun and worthwhile. But it makes school events, like the festival, that much more important."

"I'm confident we can all grow this club before we graduate!"

"Right everyone?" Viktor says.

"Yeah!"

"We'll all do our best~"

"You know it!"

Everyone enthusiastically agrees.

Such different people, all interested in the same goal.  
Viktor must have worked really hard just to find these three.

Maybe that's why they were all so delighted by the idea of a new member joining.

Though I still don't really know if I can keep up with their level of enthusiasm about literature...


	3. "Everyday I imagine A Future Where I Can Be With You~"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri hangs out with everyone in the Literature Club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

> Ch: 3 "Everyday I Imagine A Future Where I Can Be With You~"

"I have an idea, everyone~" Viktor says, "Let's all go home and write a poem of our own. Then, next time we meet, we'll all share them with each other. That way, everyone is even!"

"Um..."

"..."

"Yeaaah! Let's do it!" Yuuko says.

"Plus, now that we have a new member, I think it will help us all get a little more comfortable with each other, and strenghten the bond of the club." Viktor says, "Isn't that right, Yuuri?"

Viktor smiles warmly at me once again.

"Hold on...there's still one problem." I say.

"Eh? What's that?" Viktor asks.

Now that we're back to the original topic of me joining the club, I bluntly come forth with what's been on my mind the entire time.

"I never said I would join this club!" I say, "Yuuko may have convinced me to stop by, but I never made any decision. I still have other clubs to look at, and...um..."

I lose my train of thought.

Everyone stares back at me with dejected eyes.

"B-But..." Viktor says.

"I'm sorry, I thought.." Chris says.

"Hmph." Yurio says.

"Yuuri..." Yuuko says.

"Y-You all..." I say.

I....I'm defenseless against these people..

How am I supposed to make a clear-headed decision when it's like this?

That is, if writing poems is the price I need to pay in order to spend everyday with these beautiful people...

"...Right." I say, "Okay, I've decided, then. I'll join the Literature Club."

One by one, everyones eyes light up.

"Yesss! I'm so happyyy~" Yuuko says.

Yuuko wraps her arms around me, jumping up and down.

"H-Hey---" I say.

"You really did scare me for a moment..." Chris says.

"If you really just came for the cupcakes, I would be super pissed." Yurio says.

"Then that makes it official! Welcome to the Literature Club!" Viktor says.

"Ah...thanks, I guess." I say to Viktor.

"Okay, everyone!" Viktor says, "I think with that, we can officially end today's meet on a good note. Everyone remember tomorrow's assignment. Write a poem to bring to the next meeting, so we can all share!"

Viktor looks over at me once more.

"Yuuri, I look forward to seeing how you express yourself." Viktor says.

"Y-Yeah..."

Can I really impress the Living Legend Viktor with my mediocre writing skills?

I already feel the anxiety welling up inside me.

Meanwhile, everyone continues to chit-chat as Chris and Yurio clean up their food.

"Ne, Yuuri, since we're already here, do you want to walk home together?" Yuuko asks.

That's right---Yuuko and I never walk home together anymore because she always stayed after school for clubs.

"Sure, might as well." I answer her.

"Yaay~" Yuuko says.

With that, the two of us depart the clubroom and make our way home.

The whole day, my mind wanders back and forth between four members:  
Yuuko, Yurio, Chris, and, of course, Viktor.

Will I really be happy spending every day after school in a Literature Club?

Perhaps I'll have the chance to grow closer to one of these people...

Alright!

I'll just need to make the most of my circumstances, and i'm sure good fortune will find me.

And I guess that starts with writing a poem tonight...

Maybe I should make this poem about Yuuko, since I've known her for so long, I pretty much understand her.

__________

[Day 2, Literature Club]

"Hi again, Yuuri!" Viktor says. "Glad to see you didn't run away from us. Hahaha!"

"Nah, don't worry." I say. "This might be a little strange for me, but I at least keep my word."

Well, I'm back at the Literature Club.

I was the last to come in, so everyone else is already hanging out.

"Thanks for keeping your promise, Yuuri~" Chris says, "I hope this isn't too overwhelming of a commitment for you. Making you dive head-first into literature when you're not accustomed to it~"

"Oh, come on! Like he deserves any slack." Yurio says, "Yuuko told me you didn't even want to join any clubs this year. And last year, too! I don't know if you just come here and hang out, or what... But if you don't take us seriously, then you won't see the end of it."

"Yurio, you certainly have a big mouth for someone who keeps his comic collection in the clubroom~" Viktor teased.

"C-C-C...!!" Yurio says. "Comics are literature!!"

Swiftly defeated, Yurio plops back into his seat.

"Don't worry guys~" Yuuko says, "Yuuri always gives it his best as long as he's having fun."

"He helps me with busywork without even asking." Yuuko says, "Like cooking, cleaning my room..."

"Oh, how dependable." Chris says. 

"Yuuko, that's because your room is so messy it's distracting." I say, " And you almost set your house on fire once.."

"Is that so... Ehehe..." Yuuko says.

"You two are really good friends, aren't you?" Chris says, "I might be a little jealous."

"How come? You and Yuuri can become good friends too!" Yuuko says.

"Um." Chris mumbles.

"Y-Yuuko---" I say.

"Hmm?"

As usual, Yuuko seems oblivious to the weird situation she just put me into.

__

Now that everyone's settled in, I expected Viktor to kick off some scheduled activities for the club.

But that doesn't seem to be the case.

Yuuko and Viktor are having a cheery conversation in the corner.

Chris's face is already buried in a book.

I can't help but notice his intense expression, like he was waiting for this chance.

Meanwhile, Yurio is rummaging around in the closet.

________

Man...

It looks like no one wants to be bothered today...

I slump down into the nearest desk.

How am I supposed to occupy myself with something like literature-  
Related by myself like this?

I guess I could always read some of the book Chris gave me...  
...But i'm feeling a little too tired to read.

I could probably fall asleep right now.

I close my eyes and end up listening in on Yuuko's conversation with Viktor.

"We're probably gonna seem really lame compared to all the other clubs, though..." Yuuko says.

"Hmm." Viktor says, "Well we can't give up. The festival is our chance to show everyone what literature is all about! The problem is that the idea of a literature club sounds too dense and intellectual..."

"But it's not like that at all, you know?" Viktor says, "We just need a way of showing that to everyone... Something that speaks to their creative minds."

"Mmmmmmmmmmm....." Yuuko says, "That doesn't solve the problem, though!"

"Eh? What do you mean?"

"Even if we come up with the most fun thing ever... Nobody will come in the first place if it's a literature event." Yuuko says, "So it's more important to figure out how to get people to show up in the first place, you know? And after they come, we can do the thing to speak to their creative minds."

...What's this?

Yuuko is taking this really seriously. It's rare to hear her deliberating like this...

"Huh, that's a good point..." Viktor says, "In that case, do you think food will do the trick?" 

"W-What kind?!" Yuuko says.

'Ah... well, I guess we could---" Viktor says.

"Cupcakes!" Yuuko says.

"Ahaha. Good thinking." Viktor says, "Yurio would love to do that."

"Ah! You're right!" Yuuko says.

"Yurio makes the best cupcakes!" Yuuko says, "That works out perfectly~"

"That wasn't why you suggested it...?" Viktor says.

"Cupcakes speak to my creative tummy~" Yuuko says.

"Cupcakes it is, then." Viktor says.

"I'm hungry..." Yuuko says.

I find myself smiling.

In the end, Yuuko is still her usual self.

But therein lies the unexpected reason I admire her.

Unlike me, who has trouble finding any motivation at all.

Yuuko can put her mind to things and make them come to life.

I suppose that's why I end up letting her get on my case about things.

I can't help but wonder what it would be like to see the world through her eyes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Comment/Kudos if you like this fanfiction!


	4. "In My Hand Is A Pen That Would Write A Poem Of Me And You.."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri share's his poems with everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

> Ch: 4 "In My Hand Is A Pen That Would Write A Poem Of Me And You.."

"Okay, everyone!" Viktor says.

"Eh?"

Viktor suddenly calls out.

"Why don't we share the poems we wrote now?" Viktor says.

"Yay~! Yuuri, I can't wait to read yours!" Yuuko says, happily.

"Yeah, same..." I say, I fail to sound enthusiastic, but Yuuko still trots away to retrieve her poem.

"By the way, did you remember to write a poem last night?" Viktor asks me.

"Y-Yeah..." I answer.

My relaxation ends.

I can't believe I agreed to do something so embarrasing.

"Well, now that everyone's ready, why don't you find someone to share with?" Viktor says.

"I can't wait~!" Yuuko says in excitement.

Yuuko and Viktor enthusiastically pull out their poems.

Yuuko's is on a wrinkled sheet of loose leaf from a spiral notebook.

On the other hand, Viktor wrote his in a composition notebook.

I can already see Viktor's pristine handwriting from where I sit.

Yurio and Chris reluctantly comply as well, reaching into their bags.

I do the same, myself.

__________

I should probably show my poem to Yuuko first, since I'm definitely most comfortable sharing it to her. She's my good friend, after all.

"..."

"...Oh my goodness!" Yuuko says, in shock, "This is sooooo good, Yuuri!"

"Eh?" I say, in shock.

"I love it~!" Yuuko says, "I had no idea you were such a good writer!"

"Yuuko..." I say, "You must be seriously overreacting. I'm not a good writer at all. I honestly have no idea what i'm doing."

"Well... Maybe that's why!" Yuuko says. "Because I have no idea what I like, either!"

"Ahahaha!" Yuuko laughs.

"Jeez..."

I'm sure Chris's opinion has to be a little more constructive than this.

Maybe even Yurio's.

"Are you sure you don't like it just because I wrote it?" I ask.

"Eh?" Yuuko says, "Well, i'm sure that's part of it. I think I understand you better than a lot of other people, you know? So when I read your poem... it's not just a poem..."

"It's a Yuuri poem!" Yuuko says, "And that makes it feel extra special! Like I can feel your feeling in it~"

Yuuko hugs the sheet against her chest.

"You're so weird, Yuuko..." I say to her.

"Ehehe..." Yuuko says, "I'm really happy just that you wrote one. It just reminds me of how you're really a part of the club now~"

Not to mention the fact that i'm standing in front of you in the clubroom...?

"Er...well, of course." I say, "I'm not really into it yet, but that doesn't mean i'll break my promise." 

"See? It's like I said before, Yuuri..." Yuuko says, "Deep down, you're not selfish at all, you know? Trying new things like this for other people... That's something that only really good people do!"

"Thanks...Yuuko." I say.

...I'm not sure if Yuuko sees the full picture of my motive here.

Then again...

I can't deny that she's part of the reason I joined. Knowing how much this means to her and all...

"Yeah." Yuuko says, "And i'm gonna make sure you have lots of fun here, okay?"

"That will be my way of thanking you~" Yuuko said.

"Alright, i'm going to hold you to that, then."

"Yay~!" Yuuko says, "Now you'll read my poem too, right? Don't worry, i'm really bad at this... Ehehe..."

"We'll see about that." I say.

___

Dear Sunshine

The way you glow through my blinds in the morning  
It makes me feel like you missed me.  
Kissing my forehead to help me out of bed.  
Making me rub the sleepy from my eyes.

Are you asking me to come out and play?  
Are you trusting me to wish away a rainy day?  
I look above. The sky is blue.  
It's a secret, but I trust you too.

If it wasn't for you, I could sleep forever.  
But I'm not mad.

I want breakfast.

___

"Yuuko..." I say, "Did you wait until this morning just to write this?"

"No!" Yuuko says, "J-Just a little bit!"

"You can't answer 'just a little bit' to a yes or no question..." I say.

"I forgot to do it last night..." She says.

"Well, at least that makes me feel a little better about myself..." I say.

"Don't be mean!" She says. "I still tried my best..."

"Ah, yeah..." I say, "I didn't mean to say that it was a bad poem. It came out nice...or, how should I put it... it sounds just like you."

"Really?"

"Yeah." I say, "Especially that last line..."

"I made eggs and toast!"

"Even though you were late to school...?" I say.

"It's bad to skip breakfast!" Yuuko says, "I get all cranky..."

"Well, I guess there's no point in arguing..." I say, "Anyways, thanks for showing me."

"Ehehe~" She giggles.

"This was so much fun." Yuuko says, "Viktor's the best!"

"Ah...yeah." I say.

"But next time, I won't forget." Yuuko says, "And i'm gonna write the best poem ever!"

"Well, I guess I look forward to it."

____

Maybe I should show mine to Yurio next, he won't care, right?

"..." Yurio stays quiet.

"...?"

"...Well, it's about what I expected from someone like you." Yurio says.

"that's a little blunt." I say.

"Well, excuse me." Yurio say, "It's not like I said it was bad. It just didn't revoke any emotions."

"So basically, it's not cute enough for your tastes?" I say.

"Do you want to get smacked?" Yurio says.

"I'll pass..."

"Sigh..." Yurio sighs, "Well anyway, I guess I need to show you mine. Not that you'll like it."

___

Eagles can fly

Monkeys can climb  
Crickets can leap  
Horses can race  
Owls can seek  
Cheetahs can run  
Eagles can fly  
People can try  
But that's about it.

___

"Yeah..." Yurio says, "I told you that you weren't gonna like it."

"I like it." I say.

"What?" Yurio says, "Just be honest!"

"I am." I say, "Why are you so convinced that I wouldn't like it?"

"Well---" Yurio says, "Because! Everyone in high school thinks that writing has to be all sophisticated and stuff... so people don't even take my writing seriously."

"But isn't the point of poems for people to express themselves?" I say, "Your writing style wouldn't make your message any less valid."

"Yes! Exactly!" Yurio says, "I like when it's easy to read, but it hits you hard."

"Like in this poem," Yurio says, "Seeing everyone around you doing great things can be really disheartening... So I decided to write about it."

"Yeah, I understand." I say.

"But the other nice thing about simple writing is that it puts more weight on the wordplay." Yurio explains, "Like I set up for a rhyme at the end, but then made it fall flat on purpose. It helps bring out the feeling in the last line."

"So you did..." I say, "I guess more went into it than I realized."

"That's what it means to be a pro!" He says, "I'm glad you learned something."

"Didn't expect that from the youngest one here, did you?" Yurio says.

"Yeah...guess not." I say.

I decide to humor him with that last comment.

I don't really care how old everyone is, but if Yurio is feeling proud then I won't take that away from him.

___

Maybe I should show my poem to Chris, then Viktor.

"..." Chris stays quiet, "Mm..."

"..."

Chris stares at the poem.

A minute passes, more than enough time for him to finish reading.

"Um..." I say.

"Oh! I'm terribly sorry, I forgot to start speaking." Chris says.

"Oh, okay."

"...Okay." Chris say, "This is your first time writing a poem, right?"

"Er, yeah..." I say, "Why do you ask?"

"I'm just making sure." Chris says, "I guessed that it might be after reading through it."

"Ah, so it's that bad." I say.

"No! It's not like that at all!" Chris says.

I couldn't help but notice that it's been several minutes and we really haven't gotten anywhere.

"So, what were you saying?" I say.

"Right...um..." Chris says, "it's just that there are specific writing habits that are usually typical of new writers. And having been through that myself, I kind of learned to pick up on them. I think the most noticeable thing I recognise in new writers is that they try to make their style very deliberate. In other words, they tend to pick a writing style separate from the topic matter, and they form-fit the two together. The end result is that both the style and the expressiveness are weakend."

Once Chris finds his train of thought, it's as if his demeanor totally changes.

His stammering is completely gone, and he sounds like an expert.

"Of course, that's not something you can be blamed for." Chris continues, "There are so many different skills and techniques that go into writing even a simple poem. Not just finding them and building them, but getting then to work together is probably the most challenging part. It might take some time, but it all comes with practice, and learning by example, and trying new things. I also hope that everyone else in the club gives you valuable feedback. Yurio can be a little biased, though..."

"Biased? How?" I ask.

"Well... Nevermind." Chris says, "I shouldn't be talking about people like that... Sorry."

"It's fine." I say.

I'm not sure if Chris is apologizing to himself, to me, or to Yurio.

"Do you mind if I read your poem now?" I ask.

"Oh not at all, please do!" Chris says.

Chris hands me his poem.

___

Ghost under the light

 

The tendrils of my hair illuminate beneath the amber glow.

Bathing.

It must be this one.

The last remaining streetlight to have withstood the test of time.

the last yet to be replaced by the sickening blue-green hue of the future.

I bathe. Calm; breathing air of the present but living in the past.

The light flickers.

I flicker back.  
___

Wow, I never knew Chris could be so... Deep.

"I liked the poem," I say, "Even though it's short, it was really descriptive."

"It wasn't too short?" Chris asks, "I usually write longer poems."

"Not at all." I say.

"I'm really glad you like it." Chris smiles.  
___

Ah, now I have to show my poem to Viktor...

"Hi, Yuuri!" Viktor say, "Having a good time so far?"

"Ah...yeah."

"Good! Glad to hear it!" Viktor says, "By the way, since you're new and everything... If you ever have any suggestions for the club, like new activities, or things we can do better... I'm always listening. Don't be afraid to bring things up, okay?

"Alright...I'll keep that in mind." I say.

Of course I'll be afraid to bring things up.

I'm much better off just going with the flow until i'm more settled in.

"Anyway..." Viktor says, "Want to share your poem with me?" 

"It's kind of embarrassing, but I guess I have to."

"Ahahaha," Viktor says, "Don't worry, Yuuri! We're all a little embarrassed today, you know? But it's that sort of barrier that we'll all learn to get passed soon."

"Yeah, that's true..." I say.

I hand Viktor my poem.

"...Mhm!" Viktor says, "I like this one! It make's me think of something Yuuko would like."

"Is that so?" I say.

"You and Yuuko are really good friends, right?" Viktor says, "I wouldn't be surprised if you had those sort of things in common."

"Ah, well..." I say, "We may be good friends, but Yuuko and I are actually really different."

"Hmm..." Viktor says, "Well that may be the case. But maybe there are also some similarities that you wouldn't expect. The way she talks about you... It sounds like the two of you really care about each other's well-being. Even if you show it in different ways, it ends up being more similar than you'd think. So I think that's the kind of vibe I get when reading your poem."

"Hmm..." I say, "You sure you're not reading into it too much?"

"Ahaha! I could be!" Viktor say, "Oh gosh, I sound like Chris..."

"...But in any case, Yuuko's writing has kind of a gentle feel to it." Viktor says, "I can tell she likes to exploring with emotions, like happiness and sadness. Who knew that someone so happy would enjoy sad things, too?" 

"Yeah... that's totally unexpected." I say.

"Well, to each their own~" Viktor says, "And you shouldn't be afraid to experiment a little bit, either."

"I'm sure i'll end up trying different things a lot," I say, "It could take a while before I feel comfortable doing this."

"That's okay!" Viktor says, "Anyway, do you want to read my poem now? Don't worry, i'm not very good."

"Okay, sure." I say.

____

Hole In Wall

It couldn't have been me.  
See, the direction the spackle protrudes.  
A noisy neighbor? An angry boyfriend? I'll never know. I wasn't home.  
I peer inside for a clue.  
No! I can't see. I reel, blind, like a film left out in the sun.  
But it's too late. My retinas.  
Already scorched with a permanent copy of the meaningless image.  
It's just a little hole. It wasn't too bright.  
It was too deep.  
Stretching forever into everything.  
A hole of infinite choices.  
I realize now, that I wasn't looking in.  
I was looking out.  
And he, on the other side, was looking in.  
___

"So, what do you think?" Viktor asks.

"Hmm...it's very... freeform, if that's what you call it." I say.  
___

"Here's Vitya's Writing Tip Of The Day! Sometime's when you're writing a poem-----or story----- your brain gets too fixated on a specific point... If you try so hard to make it perfect, then you'll never make any progress. Just force yourself to get something down on the paper, and tidy it up later! Another way to think about it is this: if you keep your pen in the same spot for too long, you'll just get a big dark puddle of ink. So just move your hand, and go with the flow! ...That's my advice for today! Thanks for listening~"  
___

"Phew..."

I guess that's everyone.

I glance around the room,

That was a little more stressful than I anticipated.

It's as if everyone is judging me for my mediocre writing abilities...

Even if their just being nice, there's no way my poems can stand up to theirs.

This is a Literature Club, after all.

I sigh.

I guess that's what I ended up getting myself into.

Across the room, Yuuko and Viktor are happily chatting.

My eyes land on Chris and Yurio.

They gingerly exchange sheets of paper, sharing their respective poems.

As they read in tandem, I watch each of their expressions change.

Yurio's eyebrows furrow in fustration.

Meanwhile, Chris smiles sadly.

"Eh?" Chris says, "Um...did you say something?"

"Oh, it's nothing." Yurio says.

Yurio dismissively returns the poem to the desk with one hand.

"I guess you could say it's fancy." Yurio says.

"Thank you." Chris says, "Yours is cute."

"Cute?" Yurio says, "Did you completely miss the symbolism or something? It's clearly about the feeling of giving up. How can that be cute?"

"I know that," Chris says, "It's the language, I guess. I was trying to say something nice." 

"Eh?" Yurio says, "You mean you have to try that hard to come up with something nice to say? Thanks, but it really didn't come out nice at all!"

"Um." Chris says, "Well, I do have a couple suggestions..."

"Hmph." Yurio says, "If I was looking for suggestions, I would have asked someone who actually liked it. Which people DID, by the way."

"Yuuko liked it." Yurio says, "And Yuuri did, too! So based on that, I'll gladly give you some suggestions of my own. First of all---"

"Excuse me..." Chris says, "I appreciate the offer but, I've spent a long time establishing my writing style. I don't expect it to change anytime soon, unless of course I come across something particularly inspiring. Which I haven't yet."

"Nn...!" Yurio growls.

"And Yuuri liked my poem too, you know," Chris says, "He even told me he was impressed by it."

Yurio suddenly stands up. 

"Oh?" Yurio smirks, "I didn't realize you were so invested in trying to impress our new member, Chris." 

"E-Eh?!" Chris says, "That's not true!" 

Chris stands up as well.

"Maybe you're just jealous that Yuuri appreciates my advice more than he appreciates yours!" Chris shouts.

"Huh! And how do you know he didn't appreciate my advice more? Are you that full of yourself?" Yurio says.

"If I was full of myself, I would deliberately go out of my way to make everything I do overly cutesy!" Chris says.

"Uuuuuu...!" Yurio growls.

"U-Um!!" Yuuko joins in, "Is everyone okay...?"

"Well, you know what?!" Yurio says, "I wasn't the one whose balls magically grew a size bigger as soon as Yuuri started showing up!!"

"Y-Yurio!!" Chris shouts.

"Um, Yura, that's a little--" Viktor says.

"This doesn't involve you!" Both Yurio and Chris say.

"I-I don't like fighting, guys...!" Yuuko says.

Suddenly, both boys turn towards me, as if they just noticed I was standing there.

"Y-Yuuri...!" Chris says, "He's just trying to make me look bad!" 

"That's not true!" Yurio protests, "He started it! If he could get over himself and learn to appreciate that simple writing is more effective... Help me explain that to him, Yuuri!"

How did I get dragged into this in the first place?!

It's not like I know anything about writing...

But whomever I agree with, they'll probably think more highly of me!

But.....

Who do I choose?


	5. "The Ink Flows Down Into A Dark Puddle.."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

> Ch: 5 "The Ink Flows Down Into A Dark Puddle..."

...

"Y-Yurio..." I say.

Yurio glares at me, drying up any words I had in my mouth.  
So instead, I turn to Chris.

"Chris..." I say.

"..."

But Chris's expression is so defenseless that I can't bring myself to say anything to him.

"..." I say silent.

"...Yuuko!" I shout.

"Eh?!" She shouts in surprise.

"...Yeah!" I continue, "Everyone's fighting is making Yuuko uncomfortable. How can the two of you keep fighting when you know you're making your friend feel like this?" 

"Yuuri..." Yuuko smiles sweetly.

"Well... that's **her** problem! This isn't about her." Yurio defends.

"I agree." Chris says, "It's unfair for others to interject their own feelings into our conflict."

"Yeah, unless Yuuko wants to tell Chris what a stuck-up jerk he's being." Yurio says.

"She would never!" Chris says, "It's your immaturity that's made her upset in the first place!"

" _Excuse_ me." Yurio says, "Are you listening to yourself? This is exactly why..."

"Exactly why nobody likes---" Yurio says.

" _Stop!!_ " Yuuko shouts.

"----"

"Yurio! Chris!" Yuuko says, "You guys are my friends! I-I just want everyone to get along and be happy! My friends are wonderful people... And I love them because of their differences! Yurio's poems... They're amazing because they give you so many feelings with just a few words! And Chris's poems are amazing because they paint beautiful pictures in your head!"

"Everyone's so talented..." Yuuko says, "...So why are we fighting...?"

"Be-Because..." Yurio tries to defend, but fails to do so.

"Well..." Chris does the same.

"Also!" Yuuko continues, "Yurio's cute and there's nothing wrong with that! And Chris's private parts are the same as they always where! Big and beautiful!

"...." Both Yurio and Chris are _Mortified_

"Yuuko..." I say, awkwardly.

Yuuko stands triumphantly.

Viktor stands behind her with a bewildered expression.

"I'll make some tea..." Chris says, rushing off.

Yurio sits down with a blank expression on his face, staring at nothing.

"So, this is why Yuuko is Vice President..." I whisper to Viktor, He nods in return.

"To be honest..." Viktor says, "I might come off as a good leader, and I can organize things... But i'm not very good with people...I couldn't even bring myself to interject. As president, that's kind of embarrassing of me. Ahaha..."

"Nah..." I say, "It's not like I can blame you. I wasn't able to say anything, either."

"Well..." Viktor says, "I guess that just means Yuuko is amazing in her own ways, isn't she?"

"You could say that." I say, "She might be an airhead, but sometimes it's weirdly suspicious that she knows exactly what she's doing."

"I see." Viktor says, "Take good care of her, okay? I would hate to see her get herself hurt." 

"That makes two of us..." I say. "You can count on me."

Viktor smiles sweetly at me, causing my stomach to knot.  
Such a genuine person really makes a good president, regardless of what he says. 

If only I could get the chance to talk to him a little more...

"Okay, everyone! It's just about time for us to leave." Viktor says, "How did you all feel about sharing poems?"

"It was a lot of fun!" Yuuko says, happily.

"Well, I'd say it was worth it." Chris says.

"It was alright. Well, mostly." Yurio says.

"Yuuri, how about you?" Viktor asks me.

"...Yeah, I'd say the same." I answer, "It was a neat thing to talk about with everyone."

"Great!" Viktor says, "In that case, we'll do the same thing tomorrow. And maybe you learned something from your friends, too. So your poems will turn out even better!"

"..." I stay quiet.

I think to myself.

I did learn a little more about the kinds of poems everyone likes.

With any luck, that means I can at least do a better job impressing those I want to impress. 

I nod to myself with newfound determination.

"Yuuri!" Yuuko calls me, "Ready to walk home?" 

"Sure, let's go." I say.

"Ehehe~" Yuuko beams at me.

It truly has been a while since Yuuko and I have spent this much time together.

I can't really say I'm not enjoy it, either.

"Yuuko..." I say, "About what happened earlier..."

"Eh? What do you mean?" Yuuko asks.

"You know, between Chris and Yurio," I say, "Does that kind of thing happen often?" I say.

"No, no, no!" Yuuko says, "That's really the first time I've seen them fight like that... I promise they're both wonderful people."

"You don't... You don't hate them, do you??" Yuuko says.

"No, I don't hate them!" I say, "I just wanted your opinion, that's all. I can see why they'd make good friends with you."

"Phew..." Yuuko says, "You know, Yuuri... It's nice that I get to spend time with you in the club. But I think seeing you get along with everyone is what makes me the happiest."

"And I think everyone likes you, too!" Yuuko says.

"That's---!" I say.

"Ehehe~" Yuuko giggles, "Every day is going to be so much fun~"

"Sigh..." I sigh.

It looks like Yuuko still hasn't caught onto the kind of situation i'm in.

Sure, being friends with everyone is nice, but...

...Does it really need to stop there?

"We'll just have to see what the future holds, Yuuko." I say.

I pat Yuuko on the shoulder.

I said that more to myself than her, but it's easy to use Yuuko as an internal monologue sometimes.

"Okay~!" She says.

Yeah...

Let's do this!

> Day 3, Literature Club

Another day passes, and it's time for the club meeting already.

I've gotten a little more comfortable here over the past couple days.

Entering the clubroom, the usual scene greets me.

"Hi, Yuuri~" Yuuko greets.

"Hey, Yuuko." I greet back, "Looks like you're in a good mood today."

"Ehehe~" Yuuko giggles, "I'm just still not used to you being in the club, that's all."

"I see..." I say, "...That's a pretty simple thing to get you in a good mood."

"But I guess it's always the simple things with you, anyway." I say.

"Speaking of which... I'm kinda hungry..." Yuuko says, "Will you come with me to buy a snack?"

"No thanks..." I say.

"Eh??" Yuuko says, "T-That's not like you at all!!"

"I have my reasons." I say.

____

"Viktor! Can you tell Yuuko---" Yurio shouts, "----Eh?"

Yurio glances around.  
Viktor isn't in the clubroom.

"Ugh... Where's Viktor, anyway." Yurio says.

"Good question. Have any of you heard about him being late today?" Chris says.

"Not me..." Yuuko says.

"Yeah, I haven't either." I say.

"Hm..." Chris says, "That's a bit unusual." 

"I hope he's okay..." Yuuko says.

"Of course he's okay." Yurio says, "He probably just had something to do today... He's pretty popular, after all..." 

"Eh?" Yuuko says, "You don't think he..."

"He has a...!" Yuuko says.

"Ahaha. I wouldn't be surprised." Chris says, "He's probably more desirable that all of us combined."

"Ehehe, that's true..." Yuuko says.

"Excuse me?!" Yurio says.

Suddenly, the door swings open.

"Sorry! I'm super sorry!" Viktor says.

"Ah, there you are..." I say.

"I didn't mean to be late..." Viktor says, "I hope you guys weren't worried or anything!"

"Eh??" Yuuko says, "Viktor chose the club over his girlfriend after all! You're so strong-willed!"

"G-Girlfriend...?" Viktor says, confused, "What on earth are you talking about?"

Viktor quizzically glances at me.

"Ah, never mind that..." I say, "What held you up, anyway?" 

"Ah..." Viktor says, "Well, my last period today was study hall. To be honest, I kind of just lost track of time... Ahaha..."

"That makes no sense, though." Yurio says, "You would have heard the bell ring, at least."

"I must have not heard it, since I was practicing piano..." Viktor says.

"Piano...?" Chris questions, "I wasn't aware you played music as well, Viktor."

"Ah, I don't, really...!" Viktor says, "I kind of just started recently. I've always wanted to learn piano." 

"That's so cool!" Yuuko says, amazed. "You should play something for us, Viktor!"

"That's..." Viktor says.

Viktor looks at me.

"Maybe once I get a little bit better, I will." Viktor says.

"Yay~!" Yuuko says, happily.

"That sounds cool," I say, "I'd also look forward to it." 

"Is that so?" Viktor says, "In that case..."

"I won't let you down, Yuuri." Viktor smiles sweetly.

____

"Yuuri, Yuuri!" Yuuko suddenly comes up to me, "I'm gonna go get some supplies from another classroom. Want to come with me?"

"Supplies?" I ask, "What for?"

"Well, you know how the festival is coming up? Me and Viktor were gonna make posters and stuff." Yuuko says, "So I need to go find some crayons, and markers, and glue sticks..."

"Ah, I see." I say, "Sure, I'll go with you."

"Yaay~" Yuuko says, happily, "Okay Viktor, we'll be back soon!"

"Ah, are you going with Yuuri to get the supplies?" Viktor asks, "There's no need to trouble yourself. I'd be happy to go with him."

"Aw, but I wanted to go! It's so much fun exploring empty classrooms and stuff!" Yuuko says.

"Hehe, okay, okay." Viktor says, "It was just a suggestion. See if you can find poster paper too, okay."

"Okaay~!" Yuuko says, "Ready, Yuuri?"

"Yep, let's go."

____

Yuuko and I exit the clubroom. 

I follow behind as Yuuko hums and skips around the hallway. 

Honestly... 

It feels like I'm taking a kid to the mall or something. 

Yuuko finds pleasure in the simplest things sometimes. 

"Hey, Yuuko..." I say, "What exactly are we doing for the festival, anyway? I'm not sure how you would make an event out of literature..."

"Ehehe!" Yuuko says, "Me and Viktor have it all planned out! Don't you worry~"

"Is that so...?"

"Yup!" Yuuko says, "We're gonna do a poetry performance!"

"A performance...?" I say, "Of what kind?"

"Well..." Yuuko says, "Everyone is gonna take turns on stage... And recite their favorite poems!"

"Ah..." I say, "That sounds..."

...Kind of dull?

"Yuuri!" Yuuko says, "You're not thinking about it the right way at all! It's not just about reading poems..."

"It's about performing them!" Yuuko says, "Like, you say the lines of the poem like... **Between my feet... The last remaining flower beckons to me. I twist the stem, freeing it from its clinging roots... Caressing the final joyous moment between my fingers. But to what ends have I summoned this joy? For now when I look in every direction... The once-prosperous field before me... Is but a barren wasteland!** "

"..." Yuuko says, "Like that!"

"Yuuko..."

How do I put this... 

"I'm sure it's just me, but it's impossible for me to take you seriously when you talk like that..." I say.

"Ehhh?" Yuuko says, "You meanie! I'm working super hard on this, you know!"

"Ah, I know, I know!" I say, "I just meant that it's a pretty unordinary contrast to your cute self."

"Ahaha! Don't say that, it's embarrassing!" Yuuko says, "But I guess that means I'm doing a good job~" 

"Yeah, I guess so..." I say.

"Aaah, I'm so excited!" Yuuko says, "The Festival is going to be so much fun~"

Yuuko spins herself around in the hallway again. 

"Hey, Yuuri, this classroom over here is empty!" Yuuko says, "Let's begin the mission!"

"The mission, eh...?" 

It's been a long time since I've spent time with Yuuko like this. 

But in the end, she hasn't changed one bit. 

She's nothing but a ball of sunshine, drawing happy vibes from the world around her. 

It's a pretty nostalgic feeling for me. 

As the years went by, I began to hole myself up in my room more and more. 

So going adventuring with Yuuko brings about a special sort of feeling I forgot I had in me. 

The two of us enter the classroom. 

Yuuko heads straight to the closet, and I follow. 

"Let's see what we have in here..." Yuuko says, "...Crayons!!"

Yuuko pulls a box full of crayons off the shelf.

"They're the best brand, too!" Yuuko says, "They're kind of dirty, though..."

Yuuko starts pulling various crayons out of the box, reading the color names. 

"Alright, that's one down." I say, "Don't get distracted, we still need to find---"

"Wait, I'm looking for my favorite color..." Yuuko says.

"Fine, fine..." I say, "Then at least move aside so I can look for the poster paper."

"Ah, I dropped one by accident---" Yuuko says.

Smack!

"Kya---!" Yuuko shouts.

Yuuko bends over and smacks her forehead right into the shelf. 

She falls to the floor, and the crayons spill all over her lap. 

"Owowowowow..." Yuuko says.

"You okay?" I ask.

"My forehead..." Yuuko says.

Yuuko clutches her forehead. 

"Jeez, Yuuko..." I say, "That's just like you, isn't it? C'mon, let me see."

Since Yuuko is sitting on the floor, I grab her by the waist and pull her out of the closet. 

"You have to move your hands, Yuuko..." I say.

"But it hurts..." She says.

"Just do it for a second." I say.

Yuuko slowly releases her hands from her forehead. 

I gently brush her bangs to the side. 

"Ow---!" Yuuko says, in pain

"Sorry..." I say

There's a huge red mark on the center of her forehead. 

A bump is starting to form, as well. 

"Man, that's gonna swell up." I say, "I should find you some ice..."

"Yuuri..." Yuuko says.  
____

"Where would I even find ice around this time...?" I say, "Ah, I guess a cold drink would do..."

"You don't have to---!" Yuuko says, "I'm fine with---looking like a unicorn---"

Even wincing from the pain, Yuuko makes a silly joke. 

"Ahaha, what are you saying?" I say, "I'll be right back, okay?"

"O-Okay..." Yuuko says.

I pat Yuuko on the shoulder and run out into the hallway. 

I locate the nearest vending machine. 

"What should I get...?"

It doesn't really matter, since it will be used as an ice pack, rather than to drink.

But I know Yuuko likes apple juice, so I purchase that one. 

In just a moment, I'm already returning to the classroom where I left Yuuko. 

She has one palm on her forehead and is using the other hand to clumsily scoop crayons back into the box. 

"At least they were already in the wrong spots before I spilled them..." Yuuko says.

"Yuuko, here."

I hand Yuuko the bottle of apple juice. 

"It's nice and cold..." She says.

Yuuko opens the cal and starts drinking from it. 

"Yuuko, what are you doing?!" I say, "It's for your forehead, idiot!"

"Ah---" Yuuko says, "Sorry, I forgot~ Ahahaha!"

"How hard did you hit your head...?" I say.

Yuuko places the bottle against the bump on her head. 

"It stings..." Yuuko says.

"Just bear with it, it'll feel better soon." I say, "Looks like you cleaned up most of the crayons, so that's good."

"Hey, Yuuri..." "This kind of reminds you of growing up, doesn't it...?"

"Eh? What do you mean?"

"You know how we used to skate in the rink all the time..." Yuuko says, "I would always try to keep up with you." 

"You were kind of oblivious in some ways..." Yuuko says, "Like I usually fell or had trouble doing things you did... But sometimes when I tried to do things I couldn't, I would get myself hurt. I'd fall and scrape myself, or get a bump..."

"And I would start crying really hard." Yuuko says, "Ahaha! And you would rush over as quick as you could."

"You would try really hard to get me to stop crying." Yuuko says, "It was almost like you blamed yourself and were afraid of getting in trouble if someone found out... Even though it really wasn't your fault at all, you know?"

"Did I really do that...?" I say.

"Yeah...you don't remember?" Yuuko asks.

"Come to think of it, maybe I do remember a bit..." I say.

"I guess I was always so focused on my games that I didn't pay enough attention to you." I say, "So in a way, it was my fault."

"Kind of like this time, too..." I say, "If I wasn't rushing you out of the closet, you probably wouldn't have hit your head."

"Yuuri... I don't think you realize it, but you're always thinking about other people." Yuuko says, "Even after all these years..."

"You're rushing to help me, even though I'm just being clumsy." Yuuko says, "You're really a sweetheart..."

"D-Don't call me that!" I say.

"And I don't really do this kind of thing all the time..." I say, "I guess when it comes to you, it just feels natural."

"Before I even know it, I'm treating you like that." I say, "I guess that's what happens when you've been friends for so long."

"Really...?" Yuuko says, "Maybe you're right...Yuuri..."

"I'm so glad nothing's changed between us." Yuuko says, "Do you think it'll be like this forever?"

"Forever...?" I say.

If I'm honest to myself... 

There's no telling where we'll each end up for college, or after that.. 

So it wouldn't be fair for me to make any promises. 

But... 

"Well, I hope so." I say, "It's been this long already, right? I can't imagine you ever changing, so my hopes are up."

"I'm so happy..." Yuuko says.

Yuuko has a whimsical expression in her eyes. 

We remain silent for a moment. 

She's so silly and clumsy on the outside that when I see her deep in thought like this... 

It makes me not want to disturb her. 

"I guess we should go back..." Yuuko says, "I don't want to worry Viktor, you know?

"Good luck with that." I say, "He's gonna see your forehead either way."

"Not if I hide it under my bangs~" Yuuko says.

Yuuko hops to her feet. 

"A-Aaahh---!" Yuuko says, In pain.

She clutches her forehead again. 

"Don't stand up so fast after hurting yourself! I say.

"Uuuu..." Yuuko says.

"Well, I guess it's too late now..." I say, "Anyway, let's go."

I follow Yuuko out of the classroom. 

Yuuko plays with her bangs to try to hide the bump, but without much success. 

In a moment, we make it back to the clubroom. 

"Ah, your back!" Viktor says, "Good timing, I was just about ready to start with sharing our poems."

"Eh? Yuuko, your forehead..." Viktor worries.

"She's fine, don't worry about---" I say.

"I was playing with the crayons and smacked my head into the shelf!" Yuuko says.

"..."

"..."

"...Well, anyway!" Viktor says, "Were you able to find everything we needed?" 

"Uh-huh! I have it right---" Yuuko says, "...Eh?"

Yuuko frantically glances around herself.

"I...forgot all of the stuff!!" She says.

"Calm down, Yuuko." I say, "I have it all right here. I found the poster paper, too."

"Ahaha!" Viktor laughs, "Sounds like you ended up doing all the work, Yuuri."

"Ah, well, Yuuko----" I say.

I fail to come up with an excuse for Yuuko.

"I made it an adventure!" Yuuko says.

"...Yeah, that." I say.

"Ahaha, okay, okay," Viktor says, "In any case, good work! I'll start working on the posters tonight."

"Me too!" Yuuko says.

___

"...Okay, everyone!" Viktor says, "Are you ready to share your poems?"

"Guess I should grab mine..." I say to myself.

After making sure the crayon box is closed tightly, I return to my seat.

___

[Timeskip to Viktor's poem]

"Hi again, Yuuri! How's the writing going?" Viktor says.

"Alright, I guess..." I tell him.

"I'll take that." Viktor says, "As long as it's not going bad! I'm happy that you're applying yourself. Maybe soon you'll come up with a masterpiece!"

"Ahaha, I wouldn't count on that..." I say.

"You never know!" Viktor says, "Want to share what you wrote for today?"

"Sure... Here you go." I say.

I give my poem to Viktor.

"..." Viktor read my poem, "...Alright!"

"It's pretty good!" Viktor says, "It makes me think of Yuuko, like the other one that you wrote. You two are like the dynamic duo!"

"Ahaha... That's kind of exaggerating it." I say.

"Yeah, probably." He says, "But you do spend a lot of time with her even in this club, don't you? Then again, I don't blame you for being a little shy."

"I-I'm not shy, it's just..." I say.

"Ahaha! I'm just teasing." Viktor says, "I know it takes a bit of time to make friends with everyone. But Chris and Yurio are super interesting people, so don't be afraid to give them their share of time! And you can talk to me every now and then too... I'm not, like, unapproachable or anything, am I?"

"Ah, no, it's nothing like that..." I say, "I'm just still used to being here, that's all."

"Yeah..." Viktor says, "I'm sorry if I was putting pressure on you or something! I really didn't mean it like that."

"No, don't worry. I get what you're saying." I say.

"Well, alright!" Viktor says, "But anyway..." 

"You wanna read my poem, now?" Viktor asks.

"Okay, sure."   
____

Save Me

 

The colors, they won't stop.  
Bright, beautiful colors  
Flashing, expanding, piercing  
Red, green, blue  
An endless  
cacophony  
Of meaningless  
noise

 

The noise, it won't stop.  
Violent, grating waveforms  
Squeaking, screeching, piercing  
Sine, cosine, tangent  
Like playing a chalkboard on a turntable  
Like playing a vinyl on a pizza crust  
An endless  
poem  
Of meaningless

 

 

Load Me

____

"Hm..." I say, "It's even more abstract than your last one, huh?"

"Ahaha..." Viktor says, "I guess it's just the way I write... I'm sorry if you don't like it..."

"No, I never said that." I say, "It's just a kind of thing I've never really seen before, I guess."  
____

"Okay, everyone!" Viktor calls, "We're all done reading each others poems, right? I have something extra planned today, so if everyone could come sit at the front of the room..."

"Is this about the festival?" Yurio says.

"Well, sort of~" Viktor says.

"Ugh, do we have to do something for the festival?" Yurio says.

> To Be Continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Just so you know, my friend Mikhaella helped me with this chapter!  
> Please Kudos/Comment so I know if you enjoyed :3


	6. "Just Move Your Hand - Write The Way Into His Heart!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and the others prepare for the festival.

> Ch: 6 "Just Move Your Hand - Write The Way Into His Heart!"

"It's not like we can put together anything good in just a few days." Yurio says, "We'll just end up embarrassing ourselves instead of getting any new members."

"That's a concern of mine as well." Chris says, "I don't really do well with last-minute preparations..."

"Don't worry so much!" Viktor says, "We're going to keep it simple, okay? We won't need much more than a few decorations. Yuuko has been working on posters, and I've designed some pamphlets we can give out during the event."

"Okay, that's great and all..." Yurio says, "But that actually doesn't tell us what we're actually going to be doing for the event."

"Ah, sorry! I thought you heard about it already." Viktor says, "We're going to be performing!"

"Performing?" Yurio says.

"Uh, Viktor..." Chris says.

"Yeah! We're going to have a poetry performance." Viktor says, "Each of us are going to choose a poem to recite during the event."

"But the cool part is, we're also going to let anyone else come up and recite poems too!" Viktor says, "Yuuko is putting it on all the posters in case anyone wants to prepare ahead of time."

"Ehehe~" Yuuko says."

"Are you kidding me, Viktor?"

> After Reciting...

Yurio finishes, and everyone applauds.

He huffs back to his seat.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Viktor says.

"Easy for you to say..." Yurio says, "You'd better not make me do that again."

"Ah, well..." Viktor says, "Do you at least feel prepared enough to recite a poem in front of other people?"

"I mean, doing it in front of other people will be way easier!" Yurio says, "I can put on whatever face I want for other people. But when it's just my friends... It's just...embarrassing."

"That's a surprise, Yurio..." Yuuko says, "I think it would be the other way around for me."

"Well, that's just how it is, so..." Yurio says.

"Well, I guess in that case..." Viktor says, "You won't have much to worry about for the festival. That said, I want to thank everyone for coming through. It might be hard, but I hope that you all have an idea of what it's right now. Make sure you pick a poem and get enough practice for the festival, okay?"

> Timeskip To Hometime...

I walk home with Yuuko once more.

Even though it's only been a few days, a lot of things have already changed.

But today, Yuuko is being a little quieter than usual on the way home.

"Hey, Yuuko..." I say.

"..." Yuuko stays silent, "...Sorry! I was spacing out!"

"Ah, no wonder..." I say.

"Um..." Yuuko says, "I was...thinking about something from earlier." 

"I like how we get to..." Yuuko says, "I-I mean..."

Yuuko fumbles with her words.

"So...let's just say that one day, Chris asked to walk home with you..." Yuuko says.

"Huh?!" I say.

"What would you do?" Yuuko says.

"What kind of question is that...?" I say, "You're kind of putting me on the spot here..." 

"Ehehe..." Yuuko says.

Well...

"Yuuko..." I say, "You really think I would ditch you for Chris?" 

"B-But..." She says, "He's so handsome and smart..."

"Jeez..." I say, "I already see him in the club every day. Besides, you always seem to really like going home together..."

"I wouldn't just ruin that for you." I say.

"You're so silly, Yuuri..." Yuuko says, "You think about me too much sometimes. Chris would deserve it if he wanted it, so..."

"Yuuko, I've already made up my mind." I say, "I really can't figure you out sometimes..."

"Sorry..." She says.

"Besides, what's the point in speculating something that's never going to happen?" I say.

"Hm..."

The conversation trails off.

It's kind of a weird thing for Yuuko to care so much about...

But I want to respect her and keep her happy, too.

Then again, the festival is only a few days away...

Who knows what will happen in that time?

> Timeskip To 1 Day Later, After School 

"U-Um--!" Chris says.

"Eh?" I say.

I turn around. 

"I'm sorry." Chris says, "I realized that I don't have any way of contacting you this weekend."

"Oh, you're right." I say, "I can't believe that slipped my mind."

"Should I give you my phone number?" I say.

"I think...that would be the best way, yes." Chris says.

"Alright, then..." I say. 

Chris and I exchange phone numbers.

"Okay." Chris says, "Then, I'll be stopping by your house on Sunday..."

"Eh?" I say, "My house?"

"I-Is that a problem...?" Chris says.

"No, not at all..." I say, "I just thought that I would be the one going to your house, since I'm the one helping you."

"Ah, I suppose that makes sense..." Chris says, "But, if you don't mind... I think I would prefer going to your house."

"Alright." I say, "In that case, it won't be a problem." 

I decide not to press Chris for a reason. It's not like it should matter much either way, so I'll just need to make sure my room is clean.

"I hope I manage to make myself useful in some way..." I say, "I'm not nearly as creative as you are."

"Don't underestimate yourself, Yuuri." Chris says, "I think that we'll make a very productive team. Even if you only chose me because you felt bad or something."

"Wait...!" I say, "You don't actually think that, do you?"

"..."

"I...don't know." He says, "It's difficult to come up with any other reason you may have chosen me." 

"You're forgetting the one reason with the most common sense!" I say to him, "I chose to help you because that's what I want to do."

"B-But..." Chris thinks to himself with an extremely tense expression.

"Chris...you're overthinking this." I say, "You wanted me to point out when you're overthinking, right?" 

"Eh...?" He says, "I...didn't realize." 

"I'm telling you, I want to." I say, "That's all there is to it. Do you believe me?" 

Chris thinks really hard again. 

He looks straight into my eyes for a long while. 

"I believe you!" He says.

As if it took him tremendous effort, Chris finally says that and relaxes his expression.

"And I'm really looking forward to Sunday." He says.

"Yeah..." I say, "I am too." 

After that exchange, I make my way out the door, and Chris follows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is so short! I didn't have any time! I will make a longer chapter tomorrow, I promise!


	7. "But In This World Of Ïņfįñīþə čHœīçə§"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Save me.

> Ch: 7 "But In This World Of Ïņfįñīþə čHœīçə§"

It's already Sunday.

I've been getting increasingly anxious about Chris's upcoming visit.

I keep telling myself there's no reason to be nervous, but it doesn't help much.

Chris is clearly too mature for me and also an affectionate person in general.

There's no doubt that he'll open up easily when it's just the two of us.

Meanwhile, we've even been texting occasionally.

He was a little apprehensive at first, but it wasn't long before I was already learning more about him.

But putting Chris aside...

I haven't heard a thing from Yuuko since she left club early the other day.

It's not like we text each other all the time or anything...

But I've been worried about her in the back of my mind.

Between what Yuuko said, and what Viktor said...

Is it really okay for me to put Yuuko's feelings aside when she might need me?

I decide to visit Yuuko before Chris comes over.

Rather than asking, I simply tell her 'I'm coming over', much like we've done in the past.

Once I reach Yuuko's house, I knock on the door before entering it myself.

Again, we used to play so often that we've made it a habit of simply entering each other's houses like we were family.

The house is quiet.

Yuuko isn't anywhere on the first floor, so I assume she's up in her room.

It's already strange of her not to run down and greet me.

I head up to her bedroom, where I finally find her.

"Yuuko?" I say.

"Hi Yuuri-Kun~" Yuuko says.

I sit down in her room.

Yuuko forces a smile, but it's easy to tell that she's different.

There's a minute of silence between us.

"You haven't come over like this in a long time, have you?" Yuuko says.

"Ah... I guess you're right." I say, "It has been a long time."

"Not much has really changed, has it?" I say.

Yuuko's room is as messy as it's always been.

I also recognize the same stuffed animals and wall decorations that she's had for years now.

"Ehehe~" She says, "If you came over more often, it wouldn't be such a mess." 

"That's because I end up cleaning it for you..." I say.

"How come you suddenly wanted to come over today?" Yuuko asks, "Aren't you supposed to see Chris today?"

"Yeah, but..." I say, "...Wait, how did you know that?" 

Yuuko had already left by the time we decided that last meeting.

"Viktor told me." Yuuko says, "It's only natural for him to keep me informed about the festival preparations, right?"

"Ah, that's true..." I say, "But what about you?"

"Aren't you going to be helping Viktor today?" I say.

"Of course!" Yuuko says, "But I'm just helping him online. We didn't plan to meet up or anything."

"Ah, so it's just me and Chris, then..." I say.

"Yep~" She says.

There's more silence between us.

Yuuko stares in a random direction. Everything about her behavior is really uncharacteristic.

I finally get to the point. 

"I just...wanted to see how you were doing." I say, "After you left on Friday."

"When something's wrong, you can't hide it from me!" I say, "I know you too well."

"So..."

Yuuko smiles, shaking her head.

That's no good, Yuuri." She says.

"Eh?" I say.

"Why can't it just be like it's always been?" She says, "This is all my fault."

"If I didn't get so weak and accidentally express my feelings..." Yuuko says, "If I didn't make that stupid mistake..."

"Then you wouldn't have been worried about me at all." She says, "You wouldn't have come here. You wouldn't have even been thinking about me right now."

"But this...is just my punishment, isn't it?" Yuuko says, "I'm getting punished for being so selfish."

"I think that's why the world decided to have you come over today." She says, "It just wants to torture me."

"Ehehe~"

"Yuuko!" I say, 

I grab Yuuko by the shoulders.

"What on Earth are you saying?!" I say, "Are you listening to yourself right now?"

"I know something happened to you." I say, "There's no other explanation for you to be like this."

"So tell me, already...!" I say, "Until I know, I won't be able to stop thinking about it!"

"Ah..." Yuuko says, "Ahaha..."

Yuuko gives me an empty smile.

"You really put me in a trap, Yuuri." She says, "But..."

"You're wrong." She says, "Nothing happened to me. I've always been like this. You're just seeing it for the first time."

"Seeing what?" I say, "What are you talking about, Yuuko?"

"Ehehe~" Yuuko says, "You're really just going to make me say it, aren't you, Yuuri? I guess I have no choice this time."

"The thing is..." Yuuko says.

"I've had really bad depression my whole life." She says, "Did you know that?"

"Why do you think I'm late to school every day?" She says, "Because most days, I can't even find a reason to get out of bed."

"What reason is there to do anything when I fully know how worthless I am?" She says,

"Why go to school?"

"Why eat?"

"Why make friends?"

"Why make other people put their energy and caring to waste by having them spend it on me?" Yuuko says, "That's what it feels like."

"And that's why I just want to make everyone happy..." Yuuko says, "Without anyone worrying about me."

"..."

I'm in shock. I can't even figure out how to respond.

How is it possible that Yuuko kept this from me the entire time that I've known her?

Did she really want so badly for me to just not think about her?

"...Why, Yuuko?" I say.

"Eh...?" She says.

"Why is it that you've never told me about this?" I say, "It almost feels like I've been betrayed as your close friend. Because if I knew, I would have done everything I could to support you!" 

"Even if there's only so much that I could do..." I say, "I would have tried a little bit harder to make every day a little better for you."

"That's why I'm your friend!" I say, "All you had to do was tell me!"

"You don't understand at all, Yuuri-kun." She says, "Why do you think I didn't tell you?"

"Because if I told you, then you would have to waste effort caring about me instead of doing important things." She says, "I don't want to be cared about. It's bittersweet, when people try to care about me."

"It feels nice sometimes." Yuuko says, "But it also feels like a bat being swung against my head."

"Ahaha~" She says, "That's why I wanted so badly for you to make friends with everyone else... Helping everyone be happy together is the best thing for me."

"But then, I discovered something else, too." Yuuko says, "Seeing you make friends and get closer with everyone in the club..."

"It feels like a spear going through my heart." She says, "So, that's why."

"That's why I decided the world just wants to torture me." Yuuko says, "Every path leads to nothing but hurt."

"Ahaha~"

"You're right that I don't understand..." I say, "I don't understand your feelings at all, Yuuko."

"But I don't need to understand."

"Whatever it takes for me to help you stop hurting..." I say, "That's what I'll do."

"No, Yuuri-kun.." Yuuko says,

"There's nothing."

"Nothing at all."

"The only thing that could have helped is if everything could be like it always was."

"But I was selfish." Yuuko says, "I finally showed you what a horrible person I am." 

Tears streak down Yuuko's face. 

"I made you join the literature club because I was selfish." She says, "And I was punished by my heart hurting in a way that I couldn't understand." 

"And now you came here and I made you hurt, too."

"I'm just weak and selfish."

"That's all I am." Yuuko says.

"And that's why I'm going to accept these punishments." Yuuko sobs, "Because I deserve every last one...!"

Without thinking, I once again grab Yuuko's shoulders.

This time, I pull her into a tight embrace.

"A-Ah--" Yuuko says, "Yuuri..."

"Yuuko." I say, "I don't care if you feel selfish."

"I'm really happy that you convinced me to join the club." I say, "Seeing you every day makes it worthwhile enough."

"If I make friends with everyone else, then that's just a bonus." I say, "But please never underestimate how much I care about you. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Yuuri..." Yuuko says.

Yuuko isn't hugging me back.

Despite my arms being wrapped around her, Yuuko's arms remain at her sides.

She starts sobbing next to my ear.

"No..." She sobs, "Don't do this...to me... Please don't do this..."

"Yuuri..."

"I..." 

Yuuko barely manages to speak between her sobs.

I don't know if I'm doing the right thing.

But all I want is for her to know that I care.

"If you have it in you to call yourself selfish, then you have to let me be selfish too." I say, "No matter what it takes, I'll figure out what needs to change."

"I'll make these feelings go away." I say, "And if there's anything that you need me to do... Then you'd better tell me. I'll get mad if you don't."

"..." She says, 

"I...don't know..."

"I don't know..."

"I don't know."

Gently, Yuuko finally puts her arms around me in return.

"I don't know anything."

"It's all really scary..."

"I don't understand any of my feelings, Yuuri..."

"The only time I'm not feeling nothing is when I'm feeling pain."

"But..." Yuuko says, "Your hugs are so warm..."

"...And that's really scary, too." 

Yuuko lets me go.

As she does so, I let her go as well.

"The festival is tomorrow." I say.

"Yeah..." She says.

"It's going to be fun, right?" I say.

"Yeah." She says.

"How would you like for me to spend it all with you?" I tell her.

"U-Um..." Yuuko says, "Ah--" 

"It's what I want." I say, "I promise."

"I..." She says, "I think that would be nice, then..."

"Yeah." I say.

Yuuko wipes her eyes.

If I could spend the whole day here, I would.

"Of all days, this has to be the one where I have other plans..." I say, "Maybe I should cancel--"

"No, don't--!" She protests, "Please don't... If you did that...then I really wouldn't forgive you."

"But..." I say, "It's almost time for Chris to meet me at my house..."

"At the very least, do you want to come along and help out?" I say, "It would be fun."

To my surprise, Yuuko shakes her head.

"I'm sorry." She says, "I don't know if that would be very good for me today. You understand, right?"

"Ah... It's...kind of hard for me to fully understand." I say, "But I'm trying my hardest." 

"It's okay." Yuuko says, "Don't worry too much about it. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"...Alright." I say, "I look forward to it." 

I say goodbye to Yuuko and exit her house.

On the way home, I find myself still feeling uneasy.

But it's hard for me to keep thinking about it when Chris is about to come over, too...

I think Yuuko is right.

I shouldn't be worrying too much, and we're definitely going to have a great time tomorrow.

I should just focus on what's ahead of me!

_____

As I approach my house, I see something that makes me feel a moment of panic.

mc "Chris--?" 

"Ah..." Chris says, "Thank goodness..."

"You're a little early..." I say, "I'm sorry I wasn't home yet! Were you waiting for a long time?"

"No, I just got here." He says, "But I started to get really nervous when nobody answered the doorbell."

"You always could have texted me." I say, "If I had known, I would have reassured you and hurried more on my way home."

"Ah...I suppose that's true..." Chris says, "I didn't think of that, for some reason."

"It should be common sense to do that, but I decide to ignore it." 

"Anyway...let's go inside." I say.

> After When Chris Goes Home...

Once Chris packs up, I walk him out the front door.

"Thank you very much for having me today." Chris says.

"No problem, I'm glad I was able to help." I say, "Just let me know if there's anything else you need me to bring tomorrow." 

"I will." He says, "Well, then.."

Chris fidgets.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Wait--" I say.

I kind of say that without thinking.

"About today..." I say, "It's fine that we didn't have as much time as we wanted. Because we can do this again."

"Whenever you want, you can come over, or we can go out somewhere--" I say, "Ah--"

As I stumble over my words, Chris smiles **seductively**.

"Anyway..." I say, "You know what I'm trying to say, so..."

"You're very thoughtful, Yuuri."

Chris takes a step closer to me, then briefly squeezes my hand.

"I kind of like that about you." He says.

"Well..." I mutter.

How am I supposed to respond to that?

But I don't even get a chance to, as Chris suddenly pulls back.

"Y-Yuuko--?" Chris says.

"Eh?!" I panick.

"Ah..." She says, "H-Hi, Yuuri-kun..."

"Yuuko--!" I protest, "Just now, we weren't--"

"Ehehe~" She says, "It's okay, Yuuri. I just stopped by to say hi~" 

"U-Um." Chris says, "Well, it's nice to see you... I'm sorry, but I'm already on my way to leave!" 

"Aw, really?" She says, "That's too bad..." 

"I'm sorry..." Chris says, "But we'll all be together at the festival tomorrow, so that's fine, right?" 

"Of course!" She says.

Yuuko beams.

"Y-Yeah, so..." Chris says, "I'll see you tomorrow!" 

Clearly embarrassed, Chris hurries off.

Yuuko waves goodbye after him.

"Yuuko--" I say, "I thought you didn't want to come over today!"

"Ahaha, well..." She says, "I tried staying in my room... But my imagination was being really mean to me... So I had to come here and see it for myself."

"See what?" I say, "What are you talking about?"

"You know..." She says, "How much fun you were having with Chris. And how close you got to him. It makes me...really happy... That you've made such good friends."

"That's all that matters to me." Yuuko says,

Tears start to fall down Yuuko's face.

"That's all that matters to me--!" 

"Why am I feeling this way, Yuuri?" Yuuko says, "I'm supposed to be happy for you." 

"Why does it feel like my heart is splitting in half?" Yuuko says, "It hurts so much..." 

"Everything hurts so much..." She says, "This would be so much better if I could just disappear!" 

"Yuuko, don't say that!" I say.

"It's true, Yuuri!" She says, "If I wasn't here, then you wouldn't have to waste your sympathy on me!" 

"You wouldn't have to put up with me being selfish!" Yuuko says, "Viktor was right... I should just..." 

"Viktor...?" I say, very confused, "Viktor was right about what?" 

"..." Yuuko stay silent, then I continue, "Yuuko... What I said before is true. I'm not going to let this continue. Caring about you like this isn't the burden your mind is making it out to be. It's something that makes me happy. It's something that I wouldn't trade for anything else." 

"So, even if it takes an entire lifetime..." I say, "I'm going to be by your side until you don't feel any more pain." 

"B-But..." 

Yuuko looks away. 

I put a hand on her shoulder to reassure her.

"I'm scared, Yuuri..." 

"I'm really scared..." 

"What are you scared of, Yuuko?" I ask.

"I'm scared that..." 

"That I might like you more than you like me..." 

"Yuuko...?" 

"It's true, isn't it?" She says, "I was weak and started to like you too much..." 

"I did this to myself." She says, "Yuuri..." 

"...I like you so much that I want to die!" Yuuko continues, "That's how I feel. And...and..." 

"That's enough, Yuuko..." I say, "I don't want you to hurt anymore." 

I slide my hand down Yuuko's arm and squeeze her hand in my own.

"Do you remember how I said I always know what's best for you?" I say, "Do you still believe me?" 

Wordlessly, Yuuko nods.

"Even if you don't understand all of your own feelings..." I say, "I know what you need the most right now." 

"And that's what I'm going to give to you."

"Yuuko..." I say,

"I love you."

"Eh--?" She says.

"Those are my true feelings." I say, "So...there's no way you could like me more than I like you. I should have realized it sooner. But spending time with everyone at the club... Making new friends... And having fun with you every day... It helped me realize that you are truly the most important person to me." 

"That's why I'll accept any of your burdens." I say, "As long as we continue like this every day... With you by my side...Then I know we'll both be happy."

"Yuuri..." 

Suddenly, Yuuko wraps her arms tightly around me.

"Yuuri..." She says, "Is this...really okay?"

"Yeah." I say.

I hold Yuuko in my arms and pull her closer.

"You'll never have to let go of me again." I tell her.

"I love you, Yuuri..." Yuuko says, "I want to be with you forever."

"Me too." I say.

"..."

I feel Yuuko's grip around me weaken a little bit.

"What is this...?" She says.

"Yuuko...?" I say.

"I'm supposed to be happy right now..." She says, "I always thought this would be the happiest moment for me. But why...? Even now..."

"Why won't the rainclouds go away?" Yuuko says, "They're not going away at all, Yuuri-kun..."

"It's okay, Yuuko..." I say, "It might take some time for things to get better again. But no matter how long it takes, I'll be there every step of the way."

"That's all that matters right now."

"O-Okay..." She says, "I...trust you..." 

Yuuko and I slowly release each other.

"So..." I say.

"I guess that makes the festival tomorrow...our first date, huh?" I say.

"Ehehe..." She says, "What are you saying?" 

"I don't want to think about those things, you know?" She says, "I want everything to be the same as it always has been. Even if we really are...a couple. I don't know if I could handle anything more right now... It's really new and scary to me." 

"I understand." I say, "We'll go at whatever pace suits you best." 

"Ne, Yuuri..."

Yuuko gazes at me once again, smiling sadly.

"Even if I get really, really sad..." Yuuko says, "This is the best thing for me...right?" 

"Eh...?" I say, confused.

I don't really understand what Yuuko means by that.

"Are you saying that this is making you feel sad, Yuuko?" I say.

"I-I don't know..." She says, "I don't understand what I'm feeling. It felt like a bunch of thorns when you told me you love me... But that's why I want to trust you. You know what's best for me..." 

"...Yeah." I say to her. "I do." 

"That's my promise." 

I say that, but in reality, I've never felt more uncertain when it comes to Yuuko.

I know that I love her, and she loves me.

But I'm having as much trouble understanding Yuuko's feelings as she is.

Even though I can comfort her...

I keep wondering if I should be doing something more, or something different.

I know these thoughts will continue to plague me until things are back to the way they were.

Is that what Yuuko meant by not wanting anything to change?

I don't know.

But I know that I'll give it everything I've got.

Yuuko is the most important person to me.

And I'll do whatever it takes to have a happy future with her.  
_____

It's the day of the festival.

Of all days, I expected this to be the one where I'd be walking to school with Yuuko.

But Yuuko isn't answering her phone.

I considered going to her house to wake her up, but decided that's a little too much.

Meanwhile, the preparations for the event should be nearly complete.

The banner Chris and I painted is dry, and I gently rolled it up to take with me.

He sent me a pleasant text reminding me not to forget anything, and I reassured him.

Funnily enough, I probably feel the same way as Yurio about the event.

I'm more excited for it to be over so I can spend time with Yuuko and Chris at the festival. 

But knowing Viktor, I'm sure the event will be great, too.

"Yuuri!" Viktor says, "You're the first one here. Thanks for being early!" 

"That's funny, I thought at least Chris would be here by now." I say.

Viktor is placing little booklets on each of the desks in the classroom.

They must be the ones she prepared that has all the poems we're performing.

In the end, I found a random poem online that I thought Viktor would like, and submitted it. 

So, that's the one I'll be performing.

"I'm surprised you didn't bring Yuuko with you." Viktor says.

"Yeah, she overslept again..." I say, "That dummy. You'd think that on days this important, she'd try a little harder..." 

I say that, but I suddenly remember what Yuuko told me yesterday...

And I suddenly feel awful, knowing it's not nearly that simple for her.

I only said it because it's the way I'm used to thinking.

But... Maybe I should have gone to wake her up after all?

"Ahaha." 

"You should take a little responsibility for her, Yuuri!" Viktor says, "I mean, especially after your exchange with her yesterday... You kind of left her **hanging** this morning, you know?" 

"Exchange...?" I say, "Viktor-- You know about that??" 

"Of course I do." Viktor says, "I'm the club president, after all." 

"But--!" I stammer, embarrassed.

Did Yuuko really tell him about it that quickly?

That we're...a couple now?

I didn't really plan on bringing it up with anyone yet...

"Jeez..." I say, "You don't know the full story at all, so..."

"Don't worry." Viktor says, "I probably know a lot more than you think."

"Eh...?" I say.

Viktor is being as friendly as usual, but for some reason I felt a chill down my spine after hearing that.

"Hey, do you want to check out the pamphlets?" Viktor says, "They came out really nice!"

"Yeah, sure." I say.

I grab one of the pamphlets laid out on the desks.

"Oh yeah, they really did." I say, amazed, "Something like this will definitely help people take the club more seriously."

"Yeah, I thought so too!" Viktor says, enthusiastically.

I flip through the pages.

Each member's poem is neatly printed on its own page, giving it an almost professional feel.

I recognize Yurio's and Chris's poems from the ones they performed during our practice.

"What's this...?" 

I flip to Yuuko's poem.

It's different from the one she practiced.

It's one that I haven't read before...

____

%

Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of  
Get.  
Out.  
Of.  
My.  
Head.

 

Get out of my head before I do what I know is best for you.  
Get out of my head before I listen to everything he said to me.  
Get out of my head before I show you how much I love you.  
Get out of my head before I finish writing this poem.

 

But a poem is never actually finished.  
It just stops moving.  
_____

"What's wrong?" Viktor asks.

"Ah, nothing..." I say.

This poem feels completely different from everything else Yuuko's written.

But more than that...

"I-I changed my mind!" I say, panicking, "I'm going to go get Yuuko, so..."

"Ah--" Viktor says, "Well, alright! Try not to take too long, okay?" 

I quickly leave the classroom.

"Don't strain yourself!" 

Viktor calls that out after me.

I quicken my pace.

What was I thinking?

I should have tried a little bit harder for Yuuko.

It's not a big deal to at least wait for her, or help her wake up.

Even the simple gesture of walking her to school makes her really happy.

Besides...

I told her yesterday that things will be the same as they always have been.

That's all she needs, and what I want to give her.

I reach Yuuko's house and knock on the door.

I don't expect an answer, since she's not picking up her phone, either.

Like yesterday, I open the door and let myself in.

"Yuuko?" I say.

She really is a heavy sleeper...

I swallow.

I can't believe I ended up doing this after all.

Waking her up in her own house...

That really is something that a boyfriend would do, isn't it?

Outside Yuuko's room, I knock on her door.

"Yuuko?" I say, "Wake up, dummy..." 

There's no response. I really didn't want to have to enter her room like this... 

Isn't it kind of a breach of privacy? But she really leaves me no choice.

I gently open the door, ".......Yuuk--"

**I see Yuuko hanging.**

What the hell...?

**What the hell??**

Is this a nightmare?

It...has to be.

This isn't real.

There's no way this can be real. 

Yuuko wouldn't do this.

Everything was normal up until a few days ago.

That's why I can't believe what my eyes are showing me...!

I suppress the urge to vomit.

Just yesterday...

I told Yuuko I would be there for her. 

I told her I know what's best, and that everything will be okay.

Then why...?

Why would she do this...?

How could I be so helpless?

What did I do wrong?

Confessing to her...

I shouldn't have confessed to her. 

That's not what Yuuko needed at all.

She even told me how painful it is for others to care about her. 

Then why did I confess to her, and make her feel even worse?

Why was I so selfish? 

This is my fault--!

My swarming thoughts keep telling me everything I could have done to prevent this.

If I just spent more time with her.

Walked her to school.

And remained friends with her, like it always has been...

...Then I could have prevented this.

I know I could have prevented this!

Screw the Literature Club.

Screw the festival.

I just...lost my best friend.

Someone I grew up with.

She's gone forever now.

Nothing I do can bring her back.

This isn't some game where I can reset and try something different.

I had only one chance, and I wasn't careful enough.

And now I'll carry this guilt with me until I die.

Nothing in my life is worth more than hers...

But I still couldn't do what she needed from me.

And now...

I can never take it back.

**"Never."**

**"Never."**

**"Never."**

**"Never."**

**"Never..."**

Æ̴͓̯̥̰̱̪̍̽̾̀̓́̽̿͊̐̆͘͠ǫ̶̭͙̪̥̪̖̳͔̈̀͊͋̈́̒͛͆̕ç̷͖̹̯͈̌̓̀̔͋̅̋̈́̋̈̍͒͝͠ę̶̢̛͈̼͍͎̪̜͈̈̎̅̅͊̃͂̽͆̎͘͘ͅ%̸̡̢̡̢̢̭̣͙͔̤̻̙̲͈͐&̶̨̯͙͍͈̫̼̥͉̪̭̩̙̽̅̂̒̎̑̌̄̓͘͝͠ͅ+̶̧̣͖̰̮͚̬̺̪͖̩̝̫̭̐̋͊̍͜@̵̛̛͎͖͕͖̜̫̳̦̜̝̮̯̉͒͂̈́̔͘͘͜͜₩̴̙̥̥̼̣̻̙̙̦͍͋͛̂̈̾͌͆̈́}̴̧̢̧̨̪͕͚̪̳̺͎͙̽̈́̎ͅ`̸̛̛͎̼̤̤͌̏͒̎̌̈̾̋̒͘▪̷̡͇̟̟̼̹̞̊̊̉̆̄͐̍̆̆̋̕͠ͅ

[ｙｕｕｋｏ.ｃｈｒ ｄｅｌｅｔｅｄ ｓｕｃｃｅｓｓｆｕｌｌｙ.]

**Author's Note:**

> (When making this story, I used the same dialogue from the actually game, I made this too see what would happen if Yuri!!! on Ice characters were in DDLC. I own nothing!! I was just inspired to make my idea into a story!)


End file.
